


OBJECTIVE: SURVIVE!

by the_fluff_awakens



Series: The Basketball Diaries [3]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Basketball, Alternate Universe - High School, Ben is insane, Crack, Hux is a pretentious snob, M/M, but not the porny kind, giant balls, the crackiest thing i have ever written in my entire life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 09:17:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7502769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_fluff_awakens/pseuds/the_fluff_awakens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He spots Ben straight away, even before he starts walking down the hill. It’s hard not to, when the guy is standing in the middle of the court with two basketballs. <em>Huge</em> ones. Not big, not just a lot bigger than normal basketballs, but <em>gigantic balls</em> that are taller than Ben. And Ben is tall.</p><p>“What the hell is this,” he yells as he starts jogging down towards the court.</p><p>“They’re ginormous basketballs, obviously,” came the ridiculous reply.</p><p>“How did you even find my house?” He stops just outside the baseline.</p><p>“Phasma drove me,” Ben says, stupidly broad shoulders shrugging.</p><p>“How did you even get those here?”</p><p>“You ask too many questions, Hux.”</p><p>“Can I ask just one more?”</p><p>“Okay, fine.”</p><p>“Where did you get those?”</p><p>Ben looks at one ball and then the other, his smile growing wider like a proud father looking up at his twin fake-tan addicted children.</p>
            </blockquote>





	OBJECTIVE: SURVIVE!

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so [minzimpression](http://archiveofourown.org/users/minzimpression/pseuds/minzimpression) tagged me on this [tumblr post](http://the-fluff-awakens.tumblr.com/post/147393095728/introducing-the-new-sport) and, well, this happened.
> 
> This is purely crack, I have no idea what happened.
> 
> Check out the mood board [here](http://the-fluff-awakens.tumblr.com/post/147390670083/hux-grabs-the-front-of-his-jersey-and-pulls-him).

It’s been a quiet Saturday so far for Hux. He’s just put the finishing touches on his English paper—and he’s quite proud of it, a sure A+ if he’s ever written one—and is currently stretched out by the bay window in his bedroom. Both his parents are out of the house, his father on a business trip in London, his mother playing tennis at the club, and he’s been enjoying the solitude the best way he knows how: cuddling with his cat, Millicent, inhaling a cup of steaming coffee, and doing some light reading with what little sunshine the day has left. Today’s chosen material: _À la recherche du temps perdu_. Or for barbarians who choose not to read stories in their original language, _In Search of Lost Time_ by Marcel Proust.

He’s nearing the end of _Du côté de chez Swann_ (or _Swann’s Way_ for the simple-folk) when his phone starts ringing. He sighs heavily, determined not to let the shrill sound ruin this tranquil moment he’s made for himself. It finally stops after several long rings, before starting again almost immediately.

 _”Ugh,”_ he grunts, closing his book with a huff and causing Millicent to uncurl quickly, her furry little head moving away from his side so she can glare at him, clearly offended. His phone is currently charging on his desk, and to get to it, he has to draw back the curtain that separates him from the rest of his bedroom then cross the length of the entire room past his bed. It’s really all so tiresome, and he just wants a bit of peace.

When the ringing stops and starts again for the third time, he finally relents, tugging the curtain open harder than necessary. He leaves the book by the window, scratching Millie’s head in apology. He finishes his coffee on the trek to his large mahogany desk, slamming the bowl-sized cup next to his laptop when he gets there. Unplugging the phone from its charger, he looks down and frowns at the name flashing on the screen.

**_REN_**

He snorts at the memory of how Ben’s earned that nickname. The first time they’d hooked up, after the championship game, Ben had brought him home to his empty house where they’d proceeded to do some more hooking up. In several various positions until they’d ran out of condoms. Ben had led him to his (extremely messy) bedroom, and the name scrawled on the door in a child’s hand had caught Hux’s eye.

“Ren?” Hux had asked, leaning his cheek against Ben’s head, which had been nuzzling at his very ticklish and sensitive neck.

Ben had pulled back at that, looking down at him with what looked a lot like a pained expression. “No, it’s Ben,” he’d said scowling. “Who the fuck is Ren?”

Hux had merely pointed at the name on the door, his eyebrows raised.

“Oh,” Ben had said sheepishly after his eyes had followed Hux’s finger. “No, the lower line just got erased. I’ve been trying to scrub it off for years now.”

He’d pulled Hux by the waist, kissing him deeply as they’d stumbled inside the room. After learning later on that Ben had never before brought anyone else home, Hux had started referring to him as Ren in his head. He likes to imagine it’s a name reserved only for people Ben’s brought back to his room.

“Hello,” he says into his phone, the scowl on his face now replaced with a stupid smile he would never wear in front of another person. Except maybe Ren.

“What are you doing?” Ben’s never been one for pleasantries.

“Just reading in my room.”

“Homework?”

“Nah, just for fun.”

“You’re so weird,” Ben says, and Hux can picture him rolling his eyes. “Come out and meet me in your outdoor court.”

“What for,” he asks, even as he picks up the hoodie hanging on the back of his leather wingback chair.

“How about a little one-on-one?”

“I don’t like using the outdoor court,” he mumbles, pulling on his sneakers. He just likes being stubborn, especially with Ben.

“Why not?” Ben sighs exasperatedly, making Hux smile again.

“Uh…because it’s bad for the knees?”

“Why do you even have an outdoor court then?”

“One of my mother’s attempts at gift-giving. It was a gift for my 10th birthday. She’s since had an indoor court built. That was for my 13th.”

“Jesus,” Ben mutters. “You people have _way_ too much money. Just come out here, will you?”

“Fine,” Hux huffs before ending the call. He places his phone back on his desk, zipping up his sweater and walking out on the patio by his room. Having his own entrance to their house is probably his most favorite thing about his bedroom.

Walking to the back of the house, he starts stretching out his neck and arms, the joints cracking after having stayed in one position for a long time. One just does not move about much if a cat falls asleep by one’s side. Not if one likes their eyeballs where they are.

He reaches the end of their backyard and looks down at the outdoor court. Their house sits on top of a small hill, and at the bottom of said hill, Mrs. Hux had thought it was a great idea to have a full basketball court made for her little Bran eight years ago. He barely uses it for basketball nowadays; it’s a good spot to host a party—far enough away from the house not to disturb his parents, but close enough so he can sneak away and hole up in his room when he’s had enough socializing. Phasma is usually the only person who can talk him into throwing a party, and he only agrees because his mom keeps threatening to bring him to the club with her if he doesn’t act like a normal teenager.

He spots Ben straight away, even before he starts walking down the hill. It’s hard not to, when the guy is standing in the middle of the court with two basketballs. _Huge_ ones. Not big, not just a lot bigger than normal basketballs, but _gigantic balls_ that are taller than Ben. And Ben is tall.

“What the hell is this,” he yells as he starts jogging down towards the court.

“They’re ginormous basketballs, obviously,” came the ridiculous reply.

“How did you even find my house?” He stops just outside the baseline.

“Phasma drove me,” Ben says, stupidly broad shoulders shrugging.

“How did you even get those here?”

“You ask too many questions, Hux.”

“Can I ask just one more?”

“Okay, fine.”

“Where did you get those?”

Ben looks at one ball and then the other, his smile growing wider like a proud father looking up at his twin fake-tan addicted children.

“Our assistant coach, Chewie had them made,” he explains, nudging one ball towards Hux’s direction. Hux reaches two hands out and lets the slowly rolling ball stop in front of him. “It was supposed to be for some drills, but none of the other guys wanted to use them. Parents called, the school board had to step in.”

“Chewie is…the–“ Hux holds his hand up over his head.

“The comically tall guy, yes.”

“And the–“ He gestures vaguely over his face.

“Hairier than a whole pack of wolves guy, correct.”

“Your school is weird.”

“That it is.”

“Okay, so what even were these drills supposed to be?” He runs one hand over the gigantic ball next to him, feeling the little ridges and bumps. It feels like an actual basketball, its size the only thing that’s different.

“Ah, right,” Ben starts, holding one finger up and patting his ball with his other hand. “I was the only one who appreciated his genius. I was actually interested in those drills. He called them basketball two.”

“Okaaay…” Hux says, raising an eyebrow. “And what is the objective?”

Ben’s lips stretch into a slow wide grin, not unlike the Grinch’s, before answering with one word: “ _Survive._ ”

Before Hux can ask what he means by this, Ben’s taken one step back from his ball, raised his clown-like foot and kicked his ball as hard as he can towards Hux. His eyes widen as he takes a step back, releasing his own ball. The sight of a giant ball rolling full speed towards him makes him blanch, his instincts kicking in, and he runs in the opposite direction. Ben laughs his stupid booming laugh as his ball hits Hux’s, causing it to roll forward as well. When he looks over his shoulder, it’s to find one ball still chasing him, and Ben running behind the other one, steering it towards his direction.

The ground surrounding the court still has a slight incline, and Hux knows that if he runs too far, the balls will only gain speed and probably hit him harder. He slows down and steps out of the way of the unmanned ball, letting it hit a nearby tree and ducking out of its way when it rebounds. It hits the ball Ben is handling, stunning him long enough for Hux to make his move. He steps behind the ball closer to him, pushing with all his strength, and Ben’s precarious spot on the uneven ground causes him to topple over backwards, both balls rolling over him.

* * *

  
Phasma hands Rey the bowl of popcorn they’d just made from the kitchen as they stand in Hux’s backyard looking down at the outdoor court where Ren is currently running for his life. The boys have been at this for twenty minutes now. One giant ball is stuck between two trees, the other being maneuvered by Hux.

“Didn’t I tell you this was going to be more fun than a movie?” Rey asks, shoving a handful of popcorn into her mouth.

“That you did,” Phasma concedes, her shoulders shaking from her laughter. “RUN, SOLO! RUN!”

“Shut up, I thought you were on _my team?!_ ” Ben calls from the court. He looks over his shoulder, his eyes growing like saucers when he sees Hux running on top of the ball. “What the hell, Hux?! _How did you even get up there?_ ”

“Next time you think of challenging me, you better think twice, Solo!”

* * *

  
Hux, Ben, Phasma and Rey are sitting around Hux’s bedroom, several boxes of pizzas surrounding them, when Hux’s mother gets back from the club.

“Brandon, honey,” she calls from outside the house.

“In my room, Mother,” Hux calls back.

She opens the door from the patio and looks at them, her head tilting to the side.

“Sweetie, whose giant balls are in the outdoor court?”

Hux and the girls turn to Ben, who removes the icepack over his eye and smiles up innocently at Mrs. Hux.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on [tumblr](http://the-fluff-awakens.tumblr.com).


End file.
